Maple Syrup

Have you ever run out of sugar and used honey or maple syrup instead. It sucks! Dude, my coffee tasted like a tree. A MAPLE tree. Look, I realize that Indians aren’t too smart, but this stuff is nasty compared to the happy white sugar powder. I’m glad we bombed Jamaica.

Maple Syrup is so gross, I fed it to a hobo and he threw up and slapped me thrice. I don’t enjoy it. Some people enjoy it on pancakes. WHAT??? Make a pancake with blueberries and drink a glass of milk. Put some butter on those flapjacks, idiots!

Maple Syrup is only for really poor people out in the Ozarks. There, they play on their fiddles and banjos and wait for people like me to drink their blood, but I WON’T. Imagine that, immortal hippies? No way! So, I drink a whole lot of someone else’s blood instead.

Maple Syrup is made from trees but tastes like honey coated frog ass. Just please say no to maple syrup and admire vampires from a distance.