Yngwie Malmsteen

Yngwie Malmsteen is a dick! I’d make him wash his underwear before going to bed because he’s a shitter for sure. Look:

Asshole Can't Rock

Get over yourself Yngwie Malmsteen. You play a fucking guitar! You’re no hero. You’re not a soldier of truth and justice. You’re a fucking bard, a banjo player, a flibberdigibbert. Rainbow head! Nice tight pants, fatty. Here’s a guy who’s stuck in the 50s!

Da da daaa da: DOUG!

Ow! That tickles when you play that. No one feels particularly evil when listening to your music. You are on Satan’s pussy wall of fame, you girl!

Kim

Kim is such a bitch. I hate Kim.

Hi! I'm Redfaced Bitch-Kim

Kim is a total loser and I hope she eats crap, literally, for breakfast. She sleeps with dogs and zebras and has a hole in her ass right next to her asshole that she oozes shit from. I hate her guts and she is dumb.

One time, Kim was trowing up at a fancy restaurant, and I kicked her in the tit. The waiter laughed and slapped her across the face because she’s such a douche bag. Another time she called for pizza and they said no.

Look what she drives to work in the asshole mountains:

The Slutmobile!

She has AIDS and SARS. She has sex like a sea lion. She smells.

Everybody stop talking to Kim.

Dicks

I freaking hate dicks.

OH MY FREAKING GOD!!! HATE HIM...

Nosey freaking assholes, always slapping down on tables and poking around. I’m sick of these dicks messing up my life. You commit a crime and then dicks swarm the place. Dicks are horrible. Private dicks are the worst kind. I like my dicks public.

Their blood tastes awful, too. Ever try to suck on a dick for blood? I would only suck a dick if I got paid lots of money. Of course, my own dick doesn’t count. My dick is awesome. He’s like a spy in the house of love. Wanr to see my dick? I took a picture to show you.

HOLY DICK

 

And now you know.

Mr. Bojangles

My Arch Enemy is Mr. Bojangles. I must tell you?

muthafucka

We did the swing. Me and my band swung lo. Mr. Bojangles comes and he starts doing the old soft shoe. BASTARD! Now, it’s not about the music, it’s about that damn hambone. Jesuschrist. This guy starts sucking the blood out of everybody in the room!!! Bojangles. FUCK!

Starvie starving I am the man and the ghetto plan but this guys drank all the blood out of the room. We hates him. We does, precious.

No no no, he’s a nice guy right?

yea he nice guy right?

GANGSTA VAMPYRE BIATCH!!!!!

Easy E was easy and Big Daddy Cane was big, but I am bennie goodman muthafucka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Borobudur

Have you ever been to Borobudur? It sucks. It’s on the island of Java, and I can’t stand it. Java? What the fuck? Coffee Island? Right near Christmas Island? Yup That one.

Home to the Idiots

So, a bunch of idiots built a huge temple to some fat guy who had ideas. I don’t care. I don’t need your illuminated life. I had my dog take a crap on Borobudur. It’s full of hookers.

Ding Ping Ding

Look at this guy! This is you at Borobudur. Fat dumb turd. I taste Jesus! Yeah, good for you homeboy. You’re like Axl Rose without the red hair. So, if you like enlightenment and Borobudur you are stupid and don’t deserve to be part of my monopoly. FUCK Borobudur!